"Curses! A F**ked Up Fairy Tale"

320 pages


Things aren't going so well for private investigator/villain RJ. Thanks to his crazy ex-wife, he's on probation from the Villain's Union. This means he can't be mean, cruel, vicious, or evil--at all. And it's killing him. Meanwhile, Cinderella has just been run over by a bus, and her not-so-ugly stepsister, Asia, suspects that it wasn't an accident. She hires RJ to find the killer, and due to his can't-be-evil curse, he is forced to say yes. When he begins to investigate, he finds himself getting sucked into Asia's crazy family: King and Queen Maledetto, who are constantly trying to kill each other; Cinderella's fiance, Prince Charming, who is obviously flamboyantly gay; and the so-ugly-she-hurts-your-eyes stepsister, who is in love with the butler. To make matters more complicated, RJ starts falling for Asia. He just has to solve the murder case, get the girl, and win over the Villain's Union so he can get his evil powers back. Unfortunately, someone starts trying to kill him, and it turns out that Asia is suffering from a curse of her own...


This is just a goofy, goofy book. I thought a few jokes were a little too over the top and it gets repetitive occasionally, but I did crack up quite a bit. I enjoyed the over-the-top characters and trying to figure out who really killed Cinderella. There's plenty of vulgarity so it's not for the faint-hearted, as it's heavy on the adult language and content. If you can handle that, though, and you like silly humor that you don't have to think about too much, this is the book for you. 

The Sigh

by Marjane Satrapi, 56 pages

A different twist on the beauty and the beast theme, this short illustrated story about a young woman who finds, loses, and regains love is a fairy tale / fable concerning the tenuous nature of life and the power of persistent, forthright, selfless strength to keep it as close as possible as long as it is ours to keep.

Short but sweet, this, and a lot less traumatic than the author's graphic memoirs and family stories.  There's not much to it, but you need a little fluffy optimism and fairy tale-ness after experiencing the things she has (and after reading about them).  My only complaint is that this is so slight that it might work better as part of a collection than a stand-alone volume.

Cinder

By Marissa Meyer
Lunar Chronicles Series #1
400 pages

Cinder is your typical retelling of Cinderella.  Only it is set in the future, the Lunar race from the moon is attempting to take over Earth, and Cinderella is a cyborg.

Cinder is an orphan with no past, all she knows is that the same accident that killed her family also disfigured her to the point of needing mechanical parts to survive.  Cyborgs are inferior in her society, add to that the fact that her adoptive mother despises her and her life is far from pleasant.  But all is not terrible, she is a gifted mechanic, has close bonds with her family's android and her stepsister, and one day the prince himself stops in her shop and is quite friendly with her.  Everything changes in an instant though when the deadly plague appears in her house.  Suddenly, Cinder is realizing that there is much more to the story of her past, and it is only the beginning.

This was a fun read and I'm looking forward to the next book.  Meyer did a wonderful job incorporating the traditional Cinderella story in with a sci-fi plot.  I only wish she had left out the part about the ball.  It seemed like much too much of a stretch, I think a more appropriate event could have been substituted.  Otherwise a fun story for summer reading!

Fables: Volume 1: Legends in Exile

by Bill Willingham (story), Lan Medina (pencils), Steve Leialoha and Craig Hamilton (inks), Sherilyn van Valkenburgh (colors), Todd Klein (letters), and James Jean and Alex Maleev (original series covers), 127 pages

When all the different kingdoms of folklore and fairy tale are overrun by an avaricious enemy only known as the Adversary, the denizens of the old worlds regroup in the mundane land of New Amsterdam. In order to survive, they must pull together, so they sign accords granting amnesty for all their past deeds and forge ahead for centuries as carriages give way to yellow cabs and New Amsterdam becomes New York. Things are going as well as they can when Rose Red, civil servant Snow White's wild-child sister, goes missing, leaving a bloody mess behind in her apartment. Bigby, once a scourge of civilization as the big bad wolf, is now a lawman of Fabletown and sets out to solve the mystery before it stirs up too many past grudges and tears their delicately maintained society apart.

Cheezy noir with semi-familiar personalities all tossed together for a somewhat fun, if a bit hokey, entry into a fairy tale-infested universe. Golly, it's been a long time since I read an American-style comic book á la Marvel or DC (the latter's Vertigo imprint, in this case). It'll take me a while to get reacquainted with the color palette and the drawing style, which are not my cup of tea, but I enjoyed aspects of the hammy, tongue-in-cheek story. Philandering playboy Prince Charming (ex of several of the leading ladies), irresponsible slacker Jack of Fables, Beauty and her Beast (in marriage counseling--again), and newly-engaged Bluebeard all make appearances this volume and help fill out this world of literary and cultural refugees. It'll be interesting to see who else shows up in the future and how well they do or do not fit our expectations from what we remember of their sources.

The Thirteen Clocks

by James Thurber, illustrated by Marc Simont, 124 pages

A wicked, sadistic Duke keeps his lovely "neice" Saralinda captive in his cold, gloomy castle where it is "always then and never now," the clocks all having stopped at ten minutes to five. Believing he has "murdered time," the Duke amuses himself by assigning Saralinda's many doomed suitors impossible tasks, confident they'll all fail and meet grizzly deaths (which they do). But when a handsome young prince in disguise decides to accept his challenge (and gets some unexpected help from the mysterious Golux), the Duke fears that time may not be as dead as he'd like.

Ooh, I love words! Thurber's wonderfully creepy cadences, sudden rhymes, rampant alliteration, and imaginative imagery and turns of phrase just make my brain happy and give me spooky goosebumps (particularly in the early passages where we are introduced to the Duke and his proclivities *shudder*). This is a dark, funny, twisty fairy tale for grown-ups and older kids who love language and enjoy a good dose of the heebie-jeebies.

Pinocchio Vampire Slayer and the Great Puppet Theater (vol. 2) by Dusty Higgins & Van Jensen

"Come now, puppet, let's settle this."

Volume two opens with the realization that Master Cherry is dead and has become one of the vampires. However, he protects Pinocchio and an uneasy alliance with Cherry is formed as the gang from the Great Puppet Theater join the group to help. Only problem is Pinocchio is so full of hurt, loss and rage that he is one vampire stake away from exploding. When he finally does Cherry is truly dead and Fairy gave her life to cast her final spell-making Pinocchio human. How is he going to fight the vampires now?

I'm tired of vampires. There I said it. Whew. But, this series is such a quirky mixture of fairy tale mixed with evil vampires with a good dose of sarcastic wit and humor. I started reading because the premise made me laugh. I keep reading because the characters are engaging and sympathetic; the story sweet and the drawings are creatively full of life. 2010, 176 pages.

Enchantment

by Orson Scott Card, 419 pages

This retelling of the classic fairy tale Sleeping Beauty starts with a young boy whose parents are making arrangements to flee the communist Soviet Union.  Prior to their escape, they stay with a cousin in the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains, where ten-year-old Ivan stumbles across a hidden chasm in the forest.  It is here that he sees (or thinks he sees) the image of a woman lying on a pedestal covered by leaves and guarded by a monster.  This image haunts him throughout his life, and eventually as a grad student working on his dissertation, draws him back to the chasm in the woods.

This was a wonderfully imaginative retelling blending classic lore with historical details.  The characters are beautifully drawn and the plot is fresh and flows seamlessly between modern and medieval times.  This is a great pick for anyone who loves a good story with a little magic.

Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer by Van Jensen & Dusty Higgins

Here's the premise: Pinocchio wasn't always the best boy in the world but he loved Geppetto.  When Geppetto is killed by vampires...yes, vampires...Pinocchio seeks revenge.  Every time Pinocchio tells a lie his nose grows-into a perfect vampire stake with an endless supply.

Even without the vampires this is not your Disney Pinocchio. The authors are kind enough to provide a brief(and hilarious) overview of the original Pinocchio story in the beginning. Here, Pinocchio is accompanied by Master Cherry the carpenter, the Blue Fairy and yes, the cricket...sorta.  What I liked about the story was the darkness mixed with humor. The town is besieged and a battle is going on between good and evil but at the heart of it is a mash-up of a family brought together by loyalty and love for each other rather than blood. Sweet, compassionate and bust out laughing funny. Oh, and kinda gross here and there. The illustrations are all black and white with varying degrees of detail. 2009, 128 pages.

Beauty: A Retelling of the Story of Beauty and the Beast

By Robin McKinley, 247 pages.

This is a beautifully told version of Beauty and the Beast. Beauty is a young woman whose life changes dramatically when her father's business fails suddenly and her family moves to the countryside. After living in their new home for a while, her father returns one night with a terrifying story of encountering a beast in an enchanted castle. Worse still, he must return there to remain the beast's prisoner. Beauty refuses to allow it and insists on taking his place. Upon arrival at the castle, mysteries abound, not the least of which is the mystery of her host's true identity. I found this story mesmerizing, it is familiar but McKinley lends plenty of herself to the story making it firmly hers. A must-read for anyone who enjoys fairy tale retellings.

Beastly

by Alex Flinn, 304 pages

Sophomore Kyle Kingsbury is popular, rich, and more handsome than any boy has a right to be, with an influential father and a hot girlfriend, to boot. He's also a great big jerk. When he goes too far tormenting an unpopular, and strangely unfamiliar, classmate at his prestigious private school, he finds out the hard way that things (and people) are not always what they appear to be--including himself. With his outside now magically matching his less-than-beautiful inside, Kyle finds himself abandoned by his "friends", girlfriend, and even his own appearances-obsessed father. After years of not caring about what's beneath the surface, can he learn to appreciate true beauty and earn his way back into humanity before it's too late and he's stuck in a beastly body forever?

This modern retelling of the "Beauty and the Beast" tale was enthusiastically recommended by a teen patron and I can see why she liked it. I enjoyed seeing things from Kyle's point of view (especially as fairy tales are so often told from the female perspective) and watching his attitude and perceptions of others and himself change over time. The author also uses the device of inserting brief chat room logs from an online support group Kyle joins in his search for a.) peer advice and b.) a girlfriend. While not really necessary to the story, these snippets provide humor, further evidence of just how much Kyle doesn't "get it" yet, and proof that he's not the only one out there to have had an unfortunate run-in with a witch. The wrap-up at the end is a little too pretty and cheesy, but not enough to spoil the success of the whole.

Recommended for slightly older teens who like their romance not too angsty and with a side of magic.

Beastly was also a 2009-2010 Gateway nominee.