XxxHolic: Volume 19

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Watanuki has been waiting for Yûko and selflessly running her wish-granting shop for decades, but now he's suddenly dreaming of a butterfly and doesn't know what it means. Dômeki and his other friends stand by him and do what they can, but the ultimate choice to stay or go is his own. So they wait along with him and watch for the signs. But not even Watanuki knows what the future holds.

*sigh*

This might get a little spoilery, so skip it if you like.

This is both another lovely addition to the series and a sadly disappointing final volume. The wishes that arrive on Watanuki's doorstep are as thoughtful and unique as ever and his companions are as watchful and loving. But that's the problem. I knew, this being CLAMP, that the creators were not likely to outright answer anything and would probably build up to some open-ended, cryptic yet goosebump-inducing, beautifully drawn climax that the reader is happy to believe makes sense in some alternate universe. But there is no climax at all; no action on Watanuki's part to resolve his wait, no opportunity for Dômeki to use the mysterious object he's been holding onto for years now. Instead, Watanuki just decides to continue to wait, even though he's been given permission to go by a dream sent to him long before his vigil began. I was ready to accept incomprehensible conclusions, but not the complete lack of one, comprehensible or otherwise. It makes me sad. Did they run out of ideas? Write themselves into a corner? Lose interest in the characters and story? I still love these characters. I still love this story. But it will live in perpetual limbo now unless CLAMP have plans to tie it back into some future series, which I doubt is the case. I'm more content with this state of affairs now than I was when I first read this volume, but I wish I didn't have to resign myself to it. Unfortunately, that's one wish Watanuki isn't going to be able to grant. Still, lovely. Also, grrr. And, as always, a wee bit of hmmmm. *sigh*

XxxHolic: Volume 18

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Watanuki asks for Dômeki's help with one customer and shoos him away while dealing with another. In both cases, and following a visit from old friends, Watanuki shows himself to have grown stronger, both in powers and spirit, which is a comfort to his loved ones.

It's a good thing Watanuki's built up some confidence and know-how, as only one volume remains and I'm sure it will not be an easy one for him. I don't know how or if CLAMP's going to fit in all the things I want to know, but I'm excited to get whatever they're willing to give me. But I'm also sad at the thought of finally having to leave these characters and their stories behind.

XxxHolic: Volume 17

by CLAMP, 185 pages

Watanuki finds a red pearl for a familiar spider demon, sees what someone unaging like himself has to look forward to (and it's not all pleasant), and gives Dômeki a useful birthday present.

Dômeki is so patient. As he bides his time, waiting for the moment he'll be called to action, he can't help but worry exactly what action he'll be called to. It's a comfort, at least, to know that absent Yûko has clearly planned ahead. But the reader still worries.

X/1999: Volume 18: Inversion

by CLAMP, 170 pages

Numbers on both sides of the battle for the Earth's future change, but the Harbingers still seem to have the upper hand. If Kamui can't decipher Fuma's truest desire, there may be no hope of ever seeing his own come true.

This volume serves up a melancholy discourse on life and death, what matters most (and what should matter most), and the impossibility of ever truly understanding the heart of another. Over the course of the series, the art has become more polished and attractive and the characters have, as well, and not just in their visual portrayal on the page. As he explains (or talks around) the thinking behind his actions, Kamui-mirroring Fuma seems less and less outright evil than he did earlier in the series. He's mellowed into an object of pity, albeit a frightening, powerful one perfectly willing to take lives, even of those he loves, in pursuit of his personal moral code. Yet the reader worries for him, because he clearly considers himself and his continued existence with the same painfully wise pragmatism. He just wants Kamui to understand; but if he doesn't... ah, well. Oh, ambiguity and complexity, how I enjoy you in my graphic literature. :)

Released in Japan in 2002, this is the latest volume of the series to be published on either side of the pond, despite the story not having concluded yet. There appear to be three volumes worth of chapters left which CLAMP has basically completed, but they have yet to find / choose a magazine to complete publishing the serialized chapters, the original publisher for the series having dropped it because they felt it was no longer suitable due to the violence and dark themes (devastating earthquakes and juvenile murderers being too reminiscent of unpleasant reality in the country at the time...and, sadly, the present, as well). I hope they find a home for it someday, 'cause it's a good story and I really want to know how it all ends....

X/1999: Volume 17: Suite

by CLAMP, 171 pages

Subaru has gone missing as the other Seals try to keep it together and keep one another alive.

Both sides in this conflict are learning (or will be learning soon) to better appreciate the bonds (some stronger, some weaker, than expected) that unite them. Yay for Sorata and Arashi's mutual understanding, but I worry that now they'll be prime targets for tragedy. And I don't know what's going to happen to poor, untethered Subaru....

X/1999: Volume 16: Nocturne

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Following a tip that takes him to Tokyo's Rainbow Bridge, Subaru waits alone to counter the next attack on the city's defenses. What he finds there instead is a long-delayed, climactic confrontation with his sister's murderer, his nemesis, his everything... Seishiro.

Ooooooh, I've been waiting for this since I turned the last page of Tokyo Babylon! And I am not disappointed. CLAMP are experts at the whole love-thy-enemy thing, and they've been developing this pair's tragic, complicated relationship for years. Although the characters' roots extend beyond the covers of this series, the creators are careful to tie it all into the events and personalities of the present, with Hokuto (Subaru's sister) and Kakyo's shared history, the concerned intervention of Kamui and the other Seals, and Fuma's calm observation of it all in a context only he and the dreamseers are privy to. *squee*

X/1999: Volume 15: Waltz

by CLAMP, 180 pages

As a trusted soul is secretly consumed by its other, darker self, the Dragons of Heaven are unwittingly led into danger. If the dreamseers' fateful visions come to pass, where the reinvigorated companions seek victory they will find only death and defeat.

This volume is yet another example of hope mixed with darkness. Seal Yuzuhira finds the strength to protect herself and her friends and rediscovers her lost spirit-dog companion; but dreamseer Kakyo's sweet vision of Hokuto Sumeragi, Subaru's dead twin sister, proves to be just a recurring heartbreaking dream, like a broken record, with no hope of resolution. Which tone will win out in the end? Whose beliefs will be legitimized and whose invalidated? Those who affirm the immutability of fate...or those who challenge it? Obviously, the reader is all for challenge. It's human nature, after all. But whether unpredictable CLAMP will choose to support that notion and, if so, to what degree, remains to be seen. Either way, I'm sure they'll make the journey to that revelation as twisted and hard-won as they can.

X/1999: Volume 14: Concerto

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Quiet, tired Kakyo, a dreamseer for the Harbingers, visits recuperating Kamui in his dreams and tells him he is not the only one with an opposite self, that someone else close to him is hiding another side of themselves...and it quickly becomes clear who. Why, Kakyo asks, does Kamui--why do any of them--insist on fighting a future that has already been seen, especially when doing so just causes them all more pain? Because they can't help but hold onto the hope that the future is not yet set.

I think Fuma and Seishiro's rooftop discussion about where to get good ice cream is almost the most disturbing scene in this series to-date. As they pass the chocolate-chip cone back and forth, Shibuya shatters into rubble and flames around them, the cries of the people in the streets and buildings and trains lost in the noise of collapsing concrete and twisting metal. The unexpected appearance of a potentially significant character in Kakyo's dream at the end of the volume goes a little way toward countering that darkness, but it's going to take a lot more to overtake it completely.

X/1999: Volume 13: Lament

by CLAMP, 180 pages

The Harbingers are starting to make trouble in earnest, attacking Tokyo's magically protective buildings with a series of destructive earthquakes. A young Seal tries to stop them, but alone she's not enough. Then Kamui stumbles upon Fuma just as the latter decapitates yet another of his friends. The battle goes rather downhill for Kamui from there until a pair of fellow Seals arrives on the scene and Fuma bows out till next time, never having lost his frightening cool.

Oh, these characters suffer a lot. At least we didn't know the deceased as well as we do some of the others. And Kamui is once again in need of hospitalization, every effort to impede Fuma having once again failed. Kamui needs to be more proactive, and not just wait for the other side to act before doing something. Otherwise, they'll always be a step ahead and he'll just have to take yet more gruesome beatings and watch more and more of his friends get killed in horrible ways. It's kinda depressing. And yet I can't stop reading....

X/1999: Volume 12: Movement

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Kamui and Subaru have it out on a rooftop with Fuma and Nataku, with Subaru bearing the brunt of it. Frustrated by his own inability to protect his friends, Kamui vows to learn how to create a spirit shield. But he forgets that for every new trick he acquires, his opposite picks one up, too.

Ah, there's a reason why first Subaru and now everyone else seems to see whom they want to see in Fuma. Sneaky young man. He's even got his cohort, Seishiro, looking uncertain. That, at least, makes me happy. And goodness, have CLAMP got a thing for stealing / blinding eyes, or what? If it works, it works, I guess. It certainly fits in with Subaru's and Seishiro's personal history.

X/1999: Volume 11: Interlude

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Kamui tries to carry on with as normal a life as he can while he and the other Seals wait for the Harbingers to make a move.

Subaru can't help but see the similarities between his and Seishiro's relationship and that of Kamui and Fuma. I just hope it doesn't distract him from doing whatever needs to be done in the future. It's good to see Kamui making new, non-fate-of-the-world-relevant friends, but I worry they'll just give his enemies one more way to hurt him. Again, nothing much "happens" in this volume, but we get to watch the Seals interact a little off the field of battle, which is nice in its own way.

X/1999: Volume 10: Fugue

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Kamui safely seals away one sacred sword in the heart of the CLAMP School campus just as Nataku brings the other to Fuma. Both sides are now complete, seven and seven, each certain its cause is in the right. While the Harbingers believe only mankind's destruction can save the long-abused Earth, Kamui believes the people he loves are the world. And he will do whatever he has to in order to preserve their existence in it.

Other than the maneuvering of swords and some seer-provided visions of the past for Kamui, nothing much happens in this volume that the reader doesn't already know about in one fashion or another. It's all about setting the mood and the stage for the beginning of the final battle.

X/1999: Volume 9: Requiem

by CLAMP, 178 pages

Kamui is saved from Kotori's fate by the intervention of another dream seer--but Fuma has seen the newcomer, too, and goes off to track him down and make use of him. Traumatized, Kamui slips into a catatonic state and the only one who has a chance of saving his mind and soul is one who has been in his shoes. Subaru Sumeragi must revisit his own pain by travelling into the depths of Kamui's tortured soul to lead him out of the darkness and back to reality, back to life.

The seven Seals, the Dragons of Heaven, have finally come together. But what do they do now? As the Harbingers, the Dragons of the Earth, assemble below one of Tokyo's landmarks, the distinction between good and evil is as indefinite as ever, despite the violence perpetrated on the latter's behalf. Fate declares that only one can survive--either mankind or the Earth--but how could any future without one or the other be worth all the suffering and sacrifice? Kamui will likely be the one to ask that question--and to bear the burdens that come with answering it.

XxxHolic: Volume 16

by CLAMP, 180 pages

As payment for his own wish, Watanuki has vowed to wait, never leaving the shop, never aging, until he can see Yûko again. In the meantime, he takes over ownership of the shop (and, so, the granting of wishes and the dangerous business of receiving appropriate payment). Mokona and Maru and Moro are about again, keeping him company and helping keep up the shop (and, in the case of Mokona, helping him consume the saké supply). Kohane comes to visit and, one presumes, so does Himawari-chan. And of course Dômeki comes by most days (and nights, as well) to keep an eye on him and eat his cooking, but it seems he's waiting and watching for something, too.

It's so sad to watch Watanuki grieve and wait, stubborn and pitiful at the same time. He's all alone on the cover this volume, with Yûko on the back at a 1/4 profile mostly obscured by her hair and umbrella--symbolism! The time jump of a few years threw me for a few panels, and I wish we could have seen how Watanuki's early experiences at determining payment for wishes went instead of just hearing them referred to in vague, past tense terms. But I'm glad he's not alone. He'd better not revert to not caring about his own well-being, or we're going to have words!

Somehow, I psychically started reading these at just the right time to have them line up perfectly with my reading of the major concluding crossover events of Tsubasa, which was quite cool. But I've finally caught up to the English language releases, so now I have to wait for the next one to come out in September.... Gah!

X/1999: Volume 8: Crescendo

by CLAMP, 180 pages

Subaru catches up with Seishiro, but seems less concerned with the fate of the world than with exacting vengeance for the murder of his twin sister. This doesn't bode well for Kamui, who is finally getting some blanks in his end-of-the-world-prophecy filled in by the CLAMP School Detectives trio (who, along with their mission, have grown up considerably since their days of helping pretty rich girls find their lost pet peacocks). As all the pressures and predictions finally force Kamui to a decision, he chooses a side...and all hell breaks loose.

The violence of this volume ratchets up as equilibrium demands that Kamui of the Dragons of Heaven be balanced out with a counterpart Kamui of the Dragons of the Earth. The blatantly suggestive attack and apparent fratricide that follow seem to set the tone for the future, so reader be warned. If you want sunshine and bunnies, look elsewhere. This series is nothing if not dark, nearly every scene increasingly heavy with the weight of destiny and dripping with the blood of those caught up in it.

XxxHolic: Volume 15

by CLAMP, 179 pages

After failing to persuade his cooking student to taste her own food, a dispirited Watanuki dreams of losing Yûko. When he wakes, she is nowhere to be found. He tells himself she has just gone out on an errand, but he can't find Mokona or Maru or Moro, either. Still, he stubbornly carries on watching over the shop and leaving homemade omisubi (sticky rice balls with different fillings) on his student's door in an effort to gain her trust. After two weeks and no word from Yûko, Dômeki takes the initiative and moves into a guest room at the shop so Watanuki won't be alone with his fears...or when the time comes that he'll need his friend the most.

Owy. When Watanuki cries, I cry. He's losing his family all over again...only this time he remembers them--even if the outside world doesn't. I hope Dômeki's ready to throw him a lifeline, because I think he'll need it soon.

Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle: Volume 28

by CLAMP, 276 pages

The journey is over. Only it isn't.

Fei-Wang vanquished. Stopped clocks restarted. The circle complete. And a new dream, a new journey, and an unknown, hope-fueled future embarked upon.

*sigh*

I don't even know where to start trying to explain this "concluding" volume or my reaction to it, so let's just say that I am already nostalgic for it, hoping for revealing after-story snippets (or wholesale continuations) in future CLAMP tales, but also content to envision said snippets (or wholesale continuations) for myself. The understanding and in-jokes and unbreakable ties that come to link these characters together over their shared experiences have sneakily worked their magic on me, too (reading an involving, quality story over the course of a long period of time will do that to a person). After an initial agitated once-through, I re-read this volume at a more relaxed pace in order to pay more attention to the mechanics and logic and connecting details, and realized that I'd caught it all the first time, I'd just been so caught up in it that I couldn't process it until later. This time I felt comforted, laughed to myself, and cuddled my borrowed book (I do that sometimes, cuddling good books, even if they're not mine--shhh, don't tell anybody) and tried to will my next ILLed volume of XxxHolic to come in magically quickly so I can again submerge myself in that crossover world and see how the other half of the story continues to unfold. Reading the rest of that series will put off parting with it all that much longer, although even after I (reluctantly) give the books back the story and the characters will stick with me, to be revisited again and again whenever I need them. Besides, if get desperate, I can just re-request them, no? :)

Yay.